The following is an excerpt from a letter written by Antonio Matthews after attending RTS Bereavement Training: Perinatal Death, led by an RTS Certified Bereavement Coordinator at his organization.
This training…played a significant role in shaping my understanding and approach to caregiving in cases of perinatal loss… I later realized how deeply the principles embedded themselves in my subconscious mind, equipping me in ways I did not anticipate.
Providentially, (because I don’t believe things happen out of irony or happenstance) just days after the workshop, I was confronted with a tragic situation that dealt with perinatal loss: the death of a three-month-old infant who had suffocated in his bassinet. From the moment the family arrived at the hospital to the pronouncement of death and the honor walk that followed, I was able to accompany and care for them in ways that felt both meaningful and deeply compassionate. The honor walk—a poignant moment of recognition for the life of the infant and the donation of his organs—was an especially sacred experience for me. In my post care reflection, I realized how much of the training I had internalized without being fully aware. I was able to apply techniques such as maintaining compassionate silence, allowing space for the family’s grief, and being present without needing to “fix” their pain…
The RTS workshop also taught us the importance of individualized care and cultural sensitivity, two principles that were crucial as I sought to meet the family where they were emotionally and spiritually… Offering gentle gestures like a reassuring touch, maintaining eye contact, and ensuring that our body language conveys empathy were key components in the facilitation of care for this young couple.
…I became more aware of how important it is to process the emotional weight of perinatal loss encounters through reflection and through my own process of going to the gym and lifting heavy weight. This awareness has enabled me to care for families with greater emotional resilience and presence, ensuring that I do not carry the burden alone.
In retrospect, I am incredibly grateful for the RTS training. It was far more than an academic exercise; it was preparation for walking with families through some of the most devastating moments of their lives. This experience has deepened my conviction that perinatal bereavement workshops are essential for chaplains and other care providers… They are vital in helping us refine our caregiving skills, making a profound difference in the lives of grieving families.
-Antonio